


Remember me, please

by GabrielLives



Series: Gabriel prompts 2019 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Gabriel (Supernatural), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 16:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18014528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielLives/pseuds/GabrielLives
Summary: After Dean pulls Sam out of a collapsed building, the younger Hunter can't seem to remember someone very important to him.





	Remember me, please

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WarlockWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Remember me, please](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18019844) by [Lysel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lysel/pseuds/Lysel). 



> oh my god you guys! this fic has art now!! the lovely @lyselkatz on tumblr has made beautiful art for this fic! I am in awe of it!
> 
> This is for @warlockwriter. I left this prompt about Sam getting amnesia unfinished and just found it in my Google docs.  
> This is after Asmodeus Gabriel, and he's really at a low point emotionally. Then I took the rest of his grace away. I'm so mean.  
> Enjoy!

“Sammy!”

Dean was digging furiously, wood and debris flying as he tore through the rubble of the collapsed abandoned house.

“Come on, Sam! Let me know where you are!”

More of the wrecked house cluttered as Dean tossed it around haphazardly, grunting as he searched for his brother.

“Can't you find him?” he shouted at the archangel standing far from the wreckage.

Gabriel blinked, blood slowly oozing down his pale face, as Dean’s insistent voice pulled him from staring at the fallen house in horror.

“I-,” he swallowed thickly, his arms still wrapped around himself, “I don't have that much grace anymore.”

“Then if you won't help me dig, what good are you?!”

Gabriel deflated, Dean’s angry words dredging up feelings that never really left him. Inadequate and useless; that is what he was now. It was the truth of his existence, a self loathing that had only dug itself deeper when he let Sam’s hand slip out of his own while they were escaping the house.

Dean turned back to the pile, throwing things and calling Sam’s name with a renewed fire in his eyes. He stopped suddenly, frozen in place when he thought he heard something.

“What is it?” Gabriel asked, hope rising in his voice.

“ _Shut up!_ ” Dean hissed as he raised a hand for silence. The archangel shrank even further into himself. “Sammy??”

Another groan sounded, and Gabriel heard it too. He rounded the house to the other side while Dean scrambled over the top to get to the source of the noise.

“Sammy! I’m coming!”

 _Please be safe, Sam,_ Gabriel thought.

By the time he reached the other side, Dean had found his brother and already had him about half unburied. Sam was dirty, bloody, but _thank Father,_ he was breathing.

“Sam!” Gabriel called as Dean lifted his brother from the ground, satisfied that his injuries were minor. “Jesus, Sam! I'm so sorry. Are you ok? _Shit_ , I shouldn't have let go of you. Are you sure your-”

“I'm fine.” Sam cut him off, his voice clipped as his hands patted the dust from his clothes. Gabriel froze, fear panging in his chest again. “Dean, what the hell happened?”

“Demons, Sam. We were fighting demons and then-”

“No, I remember the demons. What I don't remember is how a house fell on top of me.”

Dean shrugged. “The house was decrepit and we knocked out too many walls in the fight. We all would have made it out ok if _Gabriel_ hadn't lost track of you.”

The way Dean sneered his name had Gabriel cringing, still belittling himself for his mistake, but the words he heard from Sam tore his fragile world apart.

“Who’s Gabriel?”

Dean’s brow furrowed in confusion as he pointed to Gabriel. Sam turned, still no recognition in his eyes as he looked at the small angel.

“You-,” Gabriel’s voice was small and cracked, and if he still had the power to use his wings he would have, “you don't know me? Sammy-”

“It’s Sam,” the hunter interrupted, a frown tugging at his lips as Sam rubbed the back of his head. “And no, you don't look familiar.”

Dean grunted, knowing the trouble this was going to cause, and turned to head back to the Impala. They did manage to kill all the demons, so there was no reason to hang around. With a final glance towards Gabriel, Sam followed without a word.

Gabriel didn't know what to do. His feet felt like they had planted roots, and he was stuck. He stared out at nothing, still trying to process what Sam had said. _Who’s Gabriel?_ repeated in his mind over and over again. And each time he felt smaller and smaller. Hopefully he could shrink so much he would disappear.

“Come on, Gabriel!” Dean called across the lot. “Move your ass!”

The ride back to the Bunker was made in silence. Gabriel pushed himself against the door, as far as he could get from Sam. He knew Sam and Dean kept looking at each other, silently communicating and stealing glances into the backseat to gawk at Gabriel. He kept his eyes down, unable to meet the eyes of the man that no longer knew him.

His lover. Sam had even called them _boyfriends_ in the quiet aftermath of a night spent together. But what were they now? Practically strangers. Would Sam even want to know him again? Gabriel thought back to all the terrible things that angels had done to Sam in their misguided self-righteousness. Hell, even Gabriel himself had done awful things to the hunter.

Angels are no good in Sam’s eyes. And Gabriel might not feel like an angel right now, but he still was one, and Sam would find him disgusting and vile.

Because he was.

~  
Gabriel had hoped that after a while, the memories that Sam had lost would slowly start to return to him. That some random object or sentence would trigger his mind, and it all would come flooding back.

It hadn't.

It’s been almost a month, and Gabriel is tired of tiptoeing around the two hunters. He feels awful. Sam is so awkward around him, and he’s trying so hard not to say something to Gabriel to send him spiraling down again. Trying to be, at the very least, a good housemate.

But Gabriel can't take it anymore. He can't be in the same space as Sam and not _be_ with him, not anymore. Gabriel got a taste of the hunter, and it scares him that he can't live without Sam.

 _Oh, how the mighty have fallen,_ the voice in the back of Gabriel’s mind thinks after he makes up his mind. It's time to leave.

He finds Sam in the library, per the usual, his nose buried in a book and his large hands taking notes. Gabriel catches himself staring at those hands, memorizing them and all the sounds they drew out of him in the past.

_Those hands won't ever touch you again._

Gabriel shakes the voice away, he doesn't need to hear what he already knows.

“Hey, Sam,” he calls out, nervousness evident in the slight quiver of his words.

“Oh. Hi, Gabriel.” Sam is polite, but formal. He still treats whatever is between them as professional. Because Gabriel is an angel. And it’s hard for Sam to trust an angel.

Gabriel’s hands wring together, and he blurts what he wants to say quickly. “So, I’m gonna go.”

Sam looks confused, his eyes darting around as he undoubtedly looked for Dean.

“Did we have a hunt planned? I don't remember catching anything in the news.” He closed the book, and Gabriel cut him off before he could stand up.

“No. No, nothing like that. I’m…I’m leaving. Just me.” Sam’s eyes opened wide as Gabriel continued. “I’m in the way here. And if your memories of me, of _us_ , haven't come back yet, then I don't think they're going to.”

“Well, that doesn't mean you should leave,” Sam said.

Gabriel raked a hand back through his hair. “Yeah,” he sighed, “it does. Dean bounces from hating me to ignoring me. Without my grace I'm no good on hunts.” Gabriel's golden eyes met Sam's, sadness swimming in them. “You were the thing that kept me going, kept...kept me alive. Without you, this isn't my home.”

Sam was taken aback. He swallowed. “Oh. Well... I guess I can't stop you from leaving, but you don't have to. Dean filled me in on some of the things you've done for us, for me, and you deserve to be here. The Bunker is your home, too.”

“That's sweet of you,” Gabriel smiled a little, “but, I can't. I can't be around you like this. It just...hurts.”

Sam nodded, swallowing again. Gabriel knew he shouldn't, but he had to touch him one more time. Had to make one more new memory before he left.

“Just, do one thing for me,” Gabriel said as he rounded the table, slowly walking towards Sam. He cupped Sam’s strong jaw, the jaw Gabriel has kissed so many times before. “Remember me,” he whispered, “Even if you can't remember us, remember me. Please.”

Gabriel leaned down and places a kiss on Sam’s lips. It was a chaste kiss, gentle and loving in its movements. It was full of Gabriel’s emotions, emotions that he knew that Sam didn't have anymore. When he pulled back, his hands still unable to leave the soft skin underneath it, he couldn't look at Sam. He kept his eyes closed to the livid look that he imagined was on Sam’s beautiful face.

“Bye, Sam.”

He turned away quickly, heading to the garage to leave. A car was already packed, ready to go. He didn't have much, but that only made it easier to leave. Nothing held him back anymore.

So then why did it hurt so much to run out like this?

“Gabriel, wait!”

Oh, god. He was almost to the door. Why couldn't Sam just let him leave?

He turned, sucking in a harsh breath at the look of shock starting back at him. Sam was on his feet in an instant, crossing the floor in a few long steps until he was grabbing Gabriel by the neck and pulling him into a searing kiss. It was harsher than the one they shared before, and Gabriel melted into it.

This time when he reluctantly pulled away, Gabriel looked into those sunflower eyes he loved so much and saw all that love reflected back at him.

“You remember?”

“Not everything,” Sam croaked, emotions choking him, “it still feels like things are missing. But I know how I feel about you.” He kissed Gabriel again, proving his point when those gold eyes closed again. “I can see you again. Please. Don't go.”

“Not on your life, princess.”

“Princess?” Sam asked through a smile, his hands wandering down to Gabriel's hips to pull their bodies together. “What's that supposed to mean?”

They kissed again, because Gabriel was never going to stop. Not if he could help it.

“Because,” be murmured against Sam's lips, “I woke you up with true love's kiss.”


End file.
